Proposing To The Mistress
An adulterer is eager to marry his mistress
When last we left the cheating husband was in the middle of being in a rush to finalize his divorce from his wife. He really put his foot on the gas for that! The speculation was that he was getting pressure from his mistress to end his nine-year marriage and get serious with her. Very understandable. She wanted to make sure they had a future together while not caring that the future and lives of his wife and kids were left in ruins.
So he fast tracks a divorce giving up an awful lot in agreements with alimony and child support. Apparently the money he was spending wasn’t as important as just getting his freedom from his wife so he could ride off into the sunset with his mistress.
Oddly enough during the back and forth with his wife and both sets of lawyers trying to agree upon every little detail, the husband had something else on his mind. He was more concerned with getting his two sons passports and worried about how long that would take.
Now immediately you might think something nefarious was up with this being at the forefront of his thinking during this turbulent time. Like he was ready to jet his kids off to some far off country and never come back. Don’t panic. While his plan was to take them out of the country it wasn’t to go live in some distant land with them, it was so they could attend his wedding to his mistress, which was already being planned.
I imagine even his lawyer must of been thinking he was a little off his nut. He must of been like, “Maybe we should sort out this divorce thing you want so bad first, before you worry about this passport thing.”
With the divorce finalized at the end of October the two boys had to adapt to seeing their Daddy every other weekend. It was a confusing thing to get a handle on for them. Often they would ask their mother, “why do we have to drive down the highway to see Daddy?”
In their father’s mind he was more than close enough to them for this to work out. Even saying at one point – “I’ll only be thirty minutes away and can have dinner with them anytime during the week no problem.” Yet, as we all know saying something and actually doing it are two very different things. Of course he never attempted to try to see his sons when it wasn’t his scheduled time with them. I guess he was too busy with his mistress making wedding plans.
The cheating husband really didn’t make his two sons a priority. They seemed more like a burden he had to deal with than his two children that he would do anything for. His focus was clearly all on his mistress.
For instance, New Years Eve arrives and despite having his two sons for the holiday, the cheating husband dropped them off at his mothers and took his mistress out for a night of drinking and partying. The two young sons didn’t really fit into his new freewheeling lifestyle of his. So while he was out sipping champagne with his mistress or doing heaven knows what, his two sons sat alone with their grandma new years eve wishing they could go home.
In a roundabout way, his antics became known to his ex-wife. The world is a pretty small place. Not to bother with details, but she learned of him attending the mistress’ sorority parties. Her younger contemporaries thought it was quite strange to see a forty-year-old man in attendance. Trying to dress young and hip and failing to blend in, he stuck out like a mid-life crisis having cheating ex-husband. A few felt embarrassed for him and thought it was quite a bizarre scene.
In early January a very special event occurred – the cheating husband proposed to his mistress. I’m sure this moment was painted as a romantic culmination of their ‘honest well-grounded relationship’ that was meant to be celebrated by family and friends. And that’s exactly how they portrayed it.
His family had no choice, but to accept his unethical behavior, which they knew full well the details of and this ‘new marriage’ he wanted. However, for those not familiar with the history and details of ‘their relationship’ a sloppily painted portrait of a true love story was presented to everyone. It just happened this forty-year-old fell in love with this twenty-nine-year-old and no deception ever took place. You see, he was already single and going through a divorce when fate pushed them together. What a lucky stroke of luck!
Uh, sure. People will buy that. The cheating husband and his mistress certainly couldn’t reveal the truth, which was – that he was married and cheating with her all the while and they both were knowingly sneaking behind the backs of his wife and children, that he felt pressure to rush to get a divorce from his wife in order to try and keep the promises he most likely made to his mistress while they were sneaking in and out of hotel rooms together.
That he was ready to throw away nearly thirteen years of a relationship and the family he had without any hesitation and his mistress had no problem with her part in that. Those petty details would just damper this precious moment and not put everyone in a celebratory mood.
So this proposal was advertised as a beautiful wholesome event. That’s what her friends were led to believe. I would think the timeframe of all this would have raised some eyebrows if anyone paused, took a few steps back and looked at this whole scenario though. ‘Let’s see, he got divorced from his wife of nine years in late October and he proposed to this young blonde in early January……that seems pretty fast and unusual.”
You betcha.
I wonder if everyone not in the know learned of the actual truth behind their relationship and not accepted the web of lies that the cheating husband and his mistress displayed to everyone, if they would feel differently about them. I can’t imagine how the realization of what they had truly done and what kind of actions they carried out with one another how that could not affect people’s view and opinion of them. Suddenly the pleasant, happy photos they displayed to everyone would take on a more hypocritical tone. With plastered smiles on their faces trying to look like the perfect couple and then knowing the selfishness and insincerity behind that facade would be quite a contrast. Suddenly these two individuals look like a disgraceful pair, who should be ashamed of themselves and be riddled with guilt.
At least that’s what I would imagine people would think.
Of course, the cheating husband and his mistress wouldn’t want that. They probably either kept things very vague or just flat out lied about what transpired during all those ‘cheating months’ and the reasons why the divorce happened. The presence of the mistress had absolutely nothing to do with any of that and wasn’t an issue in his marriage. It was probably much easier to just blame the wife for all of it. Yeah, that’s it! We’ll make her responsible for all this! What a great idea! Yeah, his wife is a completely irrational immoral person who drove him away, but fortunately he was able to find the solace he so desperately needed in the arms of his mistress.’
Gee I hope everyone will buy that story.
The anger and vindictiveness of these comments belies a serious personality disorder. Maybe you should look yourself in the mirror and realize that you are prob the one who shouldnt be married. Maybe your spouse really tried to stay in the relationship and tried to do the “right” thing but was so unhappy that that spouse thought they could have an affair to satisfy their unhappiness. Maybe the other partner was just so unhappy and lonely and unfulfilled in the relationship but tried to stay married for the good of the family and kids. At some point this spouse just couldnt take it anymore
Mr Dirk,
It seems that the article touches some sensitive cords, I assume from your defensive and absurd excuses that you were involved in an affair or someone that you feel close to, did.
NO, unhappiness in a marriage in NOT an excuse and you DO NOT have an affair to satisfy your marital dissatisfaction. If you are unhappy and that happens, you clean up your shit, became transparent with you spouse and your kids and get a divorce. Then you go about the pursuit of your happiness. This is what honest people do. Only insecure self-absorbed human beings that cannot take responsibility for their life become cheaters. I do hope you find a way to make peace with your guilty conscience and please leave alone the cheated spouses who have to deal with the emotional mess and betrayal after the affair is uncovered. They do not need your judgment and you are in no position to give such.
Your comments are uncalled for Dirk! Unless you been on the receiving end of a spouse who has had an affair, you have no idea the pain and devastation that it causes. A cheating lying spouse is a weak individual and needs to accept responsibility for the decisions that he/she chose to do and the incredible harm that was caused by their sole choice to be irresponsible and disrespectful and unloving.