Everyone needs some extra cash occasionally. Actually that sounds like a stupid statement. We all could use extra money all the time. I don’t think I’ve ever heard someone say “I have enough money, I don’t need anymore”. Well maybe some king at some point in history said that or in a fairy tale.
So you have a friend who needs money. Coming to you for help having a request that will haunt you – “Can you lend me some money?”.
And that’s where the problem starts.
Despite promises by them they’ll get it back to you as soon as possible telling you that you have nothing to worry about, after awhile you do.
Gradually contact with them becomes more sporadic. Phone calls aren’t returned, emails aren’t answered and it seems they’ve vanished. Suddenly your trust wears down and you start to wonder “what is going on with them?”.
Inevitably they avoid you, while you make your best efforts to get ahold of them. You get frustrated and feel like this person has slapped you across the face with those green bills you gave them. Now you feel like a sucker and regret that decision of giving them anything.
Any goodwill that you had towards them is now worn down and you’re just focused on that chunk of change you gave them. You worked hard for it, you could use that extra money (like I said, everyone can) and now you just want it back.
But it doesn’t look like you’ll ever see it again.
Loaning money to friends is a tricky thing. I’m more than willing to do it to help someone out, but when I start to feel like they’re not making any effort to get it back to me then I obviously get pissed. With my really good friends, the ones who’ve actually earned that status there has never been a problem. They asked me for help, I was nice and helped them and they would pay me back. Finished and done.
This whole money thing is a great test to find out who you can really, genuinely trust. It’s an expensive lesson to learn though when it goes wrong. Once you find out that your generous assistance wasn’t really appreciated and it’s forgotten it’s really aggravating.
The best thing to do is just move on and forget about them and that money you gave them. Just chalk it up to a lesson you had to pay to learn. It’s extremely frustrating and not fair, but if you hold onto that grudge it will just eat away at you and it’s really not worth it. The only consolation is that you know you did something nice for someone and hopefully they’re aware that they weren’t very nice to you.
Plus, it’s a comforting thought to believe in ‘what goes around comes around’ and ultimately that person is destined to have a much tougher lesson to learn someday. And when that time comes, you won’t be there to help them out.
My sister always told me that if you loan money to someone, consider it a gift! Then I loaned my niece $800, she never paid back and thus I consider that her holiday gifts for the rest of her life and don't talk to her–or my sister–anymore.