Tough Guys (1986) – A Review
A review of the 1986 comedy Tough Guys, starring Burt Lancaster and Kirk Douglas as two train robbers released from prison and have to adapt to the radical 1980s
Burt Lancaster and Kirk Douglas have just been released from prison after serving thirty years for their failed attempt at robbing a train. The pair of old-time criminals want to make a fresh start, but find themselves with culture shock in 1986. Senior citizen comedy commences. Retirement home rules, disrespectful menial jobs, there’s even a radical ’80s clothing montage!
A lot has changed in the world in the past thirty years, plus they’re not youngsters anymore. Failing to fit in and refusing to act how the elderly pair are expected to, Lancaster and Douglas accept that they should just go back to what they do best – crime. And what luck! The same train they failed to rob thirty years ago, just so happens to be making its last run. It’s the perfect opportunity for these Hollywood tough guy icons to get right what they got wrong all these years ago.
Lancaster and Douglas were very well established Hollywood Royalty by the 1980s. Being popular stars during the Golden Age of Hollywood and starring together in six films (their most popular was Gunfight at the O.K. Corral), audiences grew to see them as a something as an onscreen team. Tough Guys would be a reunion and the last film they would make together.
It’s kind of funny revisiting Tough Guys today. Older action stars revisiting their earlier iconic roles have become the norm today. (I’m looking at you Tom Cruise, Sylvester Stallone, Harrison Ford, Michael Keaton, Hugh Jackman, Heck even Grumpy Old Men! Tough Guys pre-dates all of them. It’s sort of the same concept, except this isn’t particular roles Lancaster and Douglas are stepping back into, but their famous big-screen personas. Tough Guys pre-dates all of them.
There’s nothing particularly wrong with Tough Guys, but there’s not a whole lot that’s really good about it either. It’s a very middle of the road, lightweight comedy. There’s a few amusing gags and some ‘fish-out-of-water’ comedy, but it’s not near the level of quality that it should have been for this reunion of Lancaster and Douglas.
Upon release, they meet their probation officer, who is a fan of their famous criminal exploits. Played by Dana Carvey – really! It is really something to see. Carvey plays the part completely straight as a young ‘gee whiz, innocent’ character. There is zero evidence of his comedic chops in the role. Really, any young actor could have played it.
The experience of being in Tough Guys and getting to work with Lancaster and Douglas before he became a sensation on Saturday Night Live did inspire Carvey to do a hilarious routine impersonating the actors. It’s not exactly family-friendly, but if you want a good laugh you should look it up.
Anyway, Lancaster’s Harry Doyle is the older, more level-headed of the two, At the age of 72, he’s assigned to a retirement community. Sitting there eating unappealing food and strict bedtime hours, he leads a revolt with the other seniors to get better treatment.
Meanwhile, Douglas is the more hotheaded, barbell-lifting Archie Long. Douglas looks to be in great shape in the film. He’s sent to work at an ice cream store, which he can’t stand the rude kids. Then ends up as a busboy, but won’t accept being treated in a such a demeaning way. The one bright spot is he ends up meeting a young gym manager and begins to act anything but his age. That’s where the clothes montage comes in. That storyline gets rather silly.
While all this is happening, there’s some powerhouse supporting actors. Charles Durning is keeping a close eye on them. He’s the cop who busted them for that train robbery all those years ago and firmly believes these two can’t possibly go straight. Plus, Eli Wallach keeps popping up trying to kill the two ex-cons. They have no idea who is or what they ever did to him.
Toss in Alexis Smith as an old flame of Lancaster’s, Billy Barty showing up as one of their old criminal buddies and a Red Hot Chili Peppers concert. All these subplots aren’t really all that interesting.
The comedy is very scattershot. Sure, it’s amusing to see Burt and Kirk beat up a bunch of young punks, but the film starts to drift along with very few laughs. Things pick up when the duo decide to risk it all by hijacking the Gold Coast Flyer for a final ride. And then the movie ends with one final gag.
The film doesn’t have any kind of emotional bittersweet message about aging, times changing, making peace with past regrets. I really feel like Tough Guys could have been so much more.
Most of it is sitcom level writing and gags. The main thing that makes it worth checking out and is the draw – and it’s exactly how it was promoted – is just the fact of getting to see Burt and Kirk together for one final time.
If you’re a fan of theirs, then you’ll probably enjoy Tough Guys as simply a love letter to the actors. They’re just as charismatic and command a scene like you’d expect and try to make the most out of what’s given to them. I just enjoy seeing these two tough guys in their nice suits being partnered up and palling around. I only wish the story and comedy would have made Tough Guys more memorable and satisfying.
