As I continue to document the events of a broken household as a result of the husband/father leaving to pursue a relationship with his mistress, I look at the most joyous part of the year and what pains this cheating husband would continually inflict on his family and his unbelievable irrational behavior.
I don’t think Santa Claus would look too kindly on his antics. I’m betting he’d be on the ‘Naughty List’ for sure.
The 2013 holiday season would mark a milestone for the wife and her two sons. It would be the first Christmas the two sons would learn that Daddy was no longer going to live with them. He would be moving out to live by himself. Or so they were told by him.
The wife and the adults around knew what the real story was. Good old Dad was moving into an apartment with his mistress. But see, the kids weren’t supposed to know that part of it.
This cover story created some problems. First, the cheating husband needed some money to get set up in this new place of his. And at the moment money was somewhat tight. So what better place to go than his parents to get some money! His parents were saddened to learn that he was experiencing marriage problems, were disappointed he had an affair, but graciously agreed to loan him some cash while being under the impression he was the only one who was going to be living in this apartment they were helping to pay for.
Well, there was a slight fib on his part, since his mistress moved right in with him and had her name also put on the lease. But hey, he had to get the money somehow. I guess if one lies to his wife and kids, lying to one’s parents becomes less a big deal.
Another problem came up when Daddy would get around to seeing his sons. Any level headed individual would see that it wouldn’t have been too good an idea for them to see that their Dad was living with his mistress. Even the Dad, who’s mind went off the deep end a long time ago, could see that his sons learning he was sharing his apartment with a strange woman might be problematic. That could paint a pretty confusing picture to the kids.
So the mistress’ presence would have to be concealed from them – for now at least. Every item that might clue the kids on that there was something fishy going on in that apartment would have to be hidden away.
As another precaution the sons would be instructed there were certain areas of the apartment that they were never, ever allowed to go to. If they ever wanted to leave their bedroom Daddy had set up for them they would have to wait in the doorway and ask permission to come out. He couldn’t afford to have them wandering anywhere they wanted to and stumbling onto the truth. This kinda sounds like prison. He should have made them wear orange jumpsuits too.
Naturally the mistress herself would have to disappear during the children’s visits. If the two sons were to come visit she would have to find somewhere else to go. I suppose she was used to hiding and being secretive at this point, so running into the shadows was something she was accustomed to.
But of course it couldn’t have been too much fun for her to keep having to hide every other weekend in own place. I mean, her name was on the lease! This was her apartment too! She would get tired of having to leave and kill time for the day while the kids visited their Daddy. And plus, these weren’t her kids! So in a few instances she got stubborn with her cooperative duty to hide and flat out refused.
This left Daddy with an additional problem. How could he make his mistress happy and do what was best for his two young sons in his mind. Really I think he was just trying to cover his own ass and didn’t want them to start to realize what a horrible thing he’s done to his family. That’s not so easy to admit though, so in his head it would be ‘doing what’s best for them’. That makes it sound like he’s making more of a sacrifice and being a ‘good parent’.
His solution – when he was unable to take them to this apartment he was sharing with his mistress he would find alternative places to take them. On one occasion he took them to a bowling alley for the day – for the entire day. There the two little boys sat for hours being told to do their homework with balls rolling down the alleys smashing into pins. The kids didn’t like this at all and couldn’t wait to go back to their home with their mother.
Fortunately for the mistress the hiding would be put to an end. The husband made a declaration that he would eventually introduce her to his two sons. He made it quite clear to his wife that he would ‘gradually introduce’ her into their lives, vowing that she will be a part of theirs.
It was a pretty scary thought for the wife, considering the husband had promised to end his affair with this mistress two months earlier, a month later he left the family to go live with her and now was working on filing for a divorce and was gearing up to introduce her to his children. What a whirlwind of emotional drama the poor wife was experiencing. This was already a burden for her to deal with, along with the eight and six-year-old to try and come to terms with the question as to “why did Daddy leave us?’
Keeping his word the cheating husband ‘gradually introduced’ his sons to his mistress – two weeks after informing his wife. Nothing the cheating husband did anymore seemed gradual or well thought out, so it would have been reasonable to assume this latest decision wouldn’t be either.
I suppose one could argue that the time frame of two weeks didn’t seem so ‘gradual’, especially considering the sensitive situation that was erupting all around. But the mistress was tired of having to hide and the husband wanted to launch full speed into this ‘new life’ – whether it was healthy for his children or not. It didn’t seem like he was thinking what was best for them really.
So the two sons were introduced to the mistress who was only referred to as ‘Daddy’s friend’. A few weeks later the sons would be informed she was now ‘Daddy’s girlfriend’. She didn’t live with Daddy though. But the cheating husband and mistress got around this deception by having her be part of ‘sleepovers’ when the sons would visit so as not arise suspicions. Fortunately after the boys fell asleep the mistress wasn’t required to unroll a sleeping bag.
The holidays began and the wife who always enjoyed doing all the decorative things one does during the season found herself doing it all on her own. The shopping, the baking, the decorating, putting up the tree, a trip to see Santa Claus, all that stuff to make the kids Christmas something special, along with the work of taking care of her two sons. It was really tough for her to do. On top of the work and energy all of that routinely takes, but also doing it with the emotional pain that was inflicted on her by her cheating husband who immediately after leaving his family moved in with his mistress. It wasn’t a very happy Christmas season for the wife, probably the worst in her life, but she put on her best face she could for the sake of her two sons.
Keeping with the annual tradition of sending out a family Christmas card to friends and family the wife didn’t let her husband’s adultery and leaving them for his mistress stop her.
However, the card would look a bit different this year. It was something she never imagined would happen. In late September this all seemed like an affair the husband was claiming he was going to end. He didn’t. He moved out and left his wife and two sons. It was his decision.
Now it’s December, the family photo of the household would only consist of the Mom and her two sons. The father obviously was too preoccupied with his mistress and getting a divorce finalized as quickly as possible, which the mistress was anxious to see happen, to be bothered with anything going on in his former residence.
Since leaving his family one might think the husband would not take much interest in what his wife’s holiday activities were. But when he heard about the Christmas card of the family offering holiday greetings to everyone and he was not included in the family portrait, not even a mention of him – he got very angry!
Perhaps it was because it was still his family name and he was completely absent from the annual card now. Yet, he was the one who left. His wife and sons all still had his last name – only he wasn’t around anymore. So what did he expect?
Perhaps more likely what really upset him was that card was being sent to many people he knew, people he never explained the truth to (or more likely never got to explain any kind of lie to) and it would be somewhat embarrassing to him for people to wonder when they got that card, “Gee, I wonder why Daddy isn’t in this family photo”.
I find it disgustingly ironic that this cheating husband knowingly, willingly and deceitfully had sexual intercourse with his mistress, created a mountain of lies to everyone around him and he got insulted because he was not included on the yearly Christmas card! Maybe it would have made him happy if she included the mistress’ name on the bottom? At least she deserved an asterisk!
The kicker to this Christmas card tale is a remark directed towards the wife by the mistress of all people. In essence she reminded her that if she intends to send out any more Christmas cards in the future to start using her maiden name next year.
Yep, that is absolutely a true statement made by the mistress who had been knowingly sleeping with this married man for months. Apparently she was really eager to get that name for herself.
I thought by continuing to write about this it would help me grasp how individuals can be so callous, shallow and selfish, but I’m still amazed by it.
This years Christmas season for the wife and kids have not fared much better and the husband and mistress are continuing to wreck havoc on their lives. After year-long divorce proceedings things were eventually finalized, but that didn’t mean the cheating husband would be any more reasonable than he had been since he started his affair.
One little incident was regarding the sons and school. It was a pretty simple issue. Each boy had to give a Christmas present to their teacher. Not that big of a deal, just a small little gift. I imagine a cheap snowglobe or some homemade craft would do. The wife informed her now ex cheating husband of this, since he had claimed he wanted to be part of the boys lives and would always be ready to help out – only up to his own convenience apparently.
Relaying the school message to him of each of the sons being required to give a holiday present to their teachers she asked him which son’s gift would he like to help buy. The response was swift and to the point – “None, this is part of child support.”
It’s nice to hear that he’s so committed to being part of his sons lives and will spare time for them.
There have been more pretty heartbreaking moments for this mother and her two sons this holiday season. Perhaps I’ll write about those after the holidays end though. There’s still plenty of time left this year for the selfish actions of the husband and mistress to give this wife and kids even more unhappiness. And it doesn’t seem like they’re going to disappoint in that department.